Violeta Altmann, blogs about her own experience at the 2016
Regathering of ROM and EDI friends in Cluj-Napoca, Romania. Violeta and her
husband Conrad live and work in Cluj-Napoca, Romania. Visit her blog "The Journey".
It is never too late to be taken by surprise…
I find myself be more pessimistic in the recent years; I may
have low expectations about most things, since moving back to eastern Europe.
One positive trait I claim across worlds is that I am happy to jump on board of
the unknown. I need very little information in order to start something, but my
gut, the depth of my heart, has to feel the decision. I can’t control it. I
pray. No decision can be exclusively well made by the mind or by the heart.
We spent the last 4 days with a large group from across Eastern
Europe – the majority of them Balkans, and I knew little about the speakers. It
all worked out in the end. Liviu Mocan, one familiar face, friend and
internationally renowned sculptor, opened the floor with a very artistic
dialogue – brilliant! – breakdance, a sculpture and the scripture, all
highlighting the theme of transformation.
I am an observer and I don’t feel the need to speak early to put
myself on the map. I emerge discreetly when the time is right. And if it is
never right, no loss on my part. As one of the speakers quoted another wise guy
“you should only speak when you can improve on the silence”.
I met about 60 people and 10 of them had a 25 minute speech
each, on a topic of their choice. Men and women shoulder to shoulder, with a
diversity of personal stories and intellectual journeys, all connected with
“Renewing Our Minds (ROM) & Economic Diplomacy and Integrity Forum (EDI).
Many of the messages are relevant to any communities or youth
eager to develop. I can’t help but reminisce about my time at Apple and the
personal development I got to constantly work on, with relevant feedback and
support from admirable people. Not everyone has such an opportunity.
One set of questions an English business professor (Jack) posed,
stuck with me.
Who are you?
What is your purpose?
What are you going to do about it?
How will you know you’ve done it?
And no matter how great your achievement always ask yourself the
question “So what?”. It will offer you the gift humility and help you brace
yourself for the next chapter.
Another English graceful lady, politician who happens to be a Christian,
Heather brought up the need to learn to argue well. We all disagree, and we
grow from differences, diversity and disagreement. But lately people get
but-hurt too easily, and take the shortcut to winning the argument playing
dirty, even in the highest places, easily name calling or threatening. Social
media distorted out sense of shame, empathy and face to face healthy
interaction when we disagree.
Another issue that was put into words, is related to community
building. How to make it long lasting, impactful and transformative. We all
need community, some in smaller doses, but we all still need it. And this
speaker, Nate, proceeded by presenting the variety of communities we are all
part of, some overlap, some are similar across the world. We begin with our
school community, or work, or church, or neighborhood friends. Most communities
have one or two things in common. For long lasting communities, this man listed
a set of principles. I like to call them pillars. The more pillars are used in
a community, the longer it lasts.
And these are:
Learn together
Work toward a common purpose
Eat together
Have fun together
Pray together
Nate also started counting how many hours he spends with
different groups. With some people he can count tens of hours in a month. I
realize that there are very important people in my life, and we spend together
only 5 hours a month on average. That’s sad… and it does make me wonder what
draws us together, what sustains our friendship, and how long would it last.
I am determined to be more intentional in my relationships.
Being real and honest is not comfortable, for either party, but if we can’t
build on honesty, we might as well not build at all.
With my Couples Fellowship I am looking forward to sharing meals
and fun experiences, along with learning together on how to build stronger
marriages. I believe it is imperative. Conrad has been saying it for a while,
expressing a subconscious intrinsic need to go out and have fun with this new
group.
Another delightful man with a fascinating story intertwined with
Romania since before I was born, Graham, shared about the discipline and the
training we ought to submit ourselves to in order to win the race. St. Paul talked
about being qualified for the race and the importance of not just starting the
race, but to finish it well.
We’ve also had a BBC reporter of 30 years, who has had a front
seat in seeing the world transform these last many decades, in many cases out there
in the field, interacting with people, looking them in the eyes, permeated with
each story. The world has undergone dramatic changes. For us much of the
bloodshed and the horrors are too hard to process and deal with them as they
truly are. We, who live in a relatively peaceful world can lay our head on the
pillow and decidedly embrace the bliss of ignorance. I understand the need to
detach ourselves from the heavy-heavy things in the world in order to process
them and do something with a clear mind. But sometimes we detach ourselves so
much that we run away from it completely.
Another young brilliant mind, Lizzie talked about the distortion
of acceptance and inclusion, and the effects it has on families, children and
the society as a whole. We start to be so confused ourselves, that we cannot
discern between right and wrong. Love the person, disagree with the action. The
dichotomy between loving someone and yet confronting their behavior with facts
and a cool mind.
We also had an amazing Sunday morning, up on the Tabor (as
Tihomir called it in the schedule) where we focused solely on the Gospel, and
communion was shared with bread and wine, in the remembrance of Jesus, with as
a diverse group as one can think of (see photo on my Instagram).
And Mihaela had a wonderful encouragement as a parting gift for
all: the importance of focusing on one person at a time, as Jesus did. I know I
lose my footing and my focus when I address a crowd, and not the individuals.
Jesus went out of his way to meet one Samaritan woman – the ripples effects of
this personal encounter are still felt today.
My greatest takeaway
from the ROM and EDI Regathering is their constant absorption of new people –
an unparalleled openness to newcomers of any age, culture, status, branch of
religion, country. They are together to focus on what they can accomplish
together, and not on what differentiates them. And Jesus shines through without
demagogy.
Read also other articles postd by Violeta Altmann.
